Already Hollywood is planning next year’s marketing offensive on our wallets. One planned blockbuster for summer 2011 is Battle:LA in which extraterrestrial invaders spread alarm and dismay in southern California. But is the motivation of the movie’s aliens astronomically dubious?
An expensive production starring Aaron Eckhart and Michelle Rodriguez (whose character based on past form probably will not survive to the end of the movie), the film is said to feature realistic and gritty combat sequences and well-thought out alien designs.
Alas, one aspect of the script is not well-thought out. Script writer Jonathan Liebesman has explained the aliens’ motive behind their anti-social behaviour “Earth is 70 percent water. The aliens in our movie use water for may different things, so they are here for those natural resources.” (Quote from Io9.com.)
What can I say but “Dumb! Dumb! Dumb!” (That dull thudding sound you hear in the distance is me banging my head on the desk.)
Just imagine you are leading an alien water-stealing mission to our Solar System. Do you
a. Go to Earth, take a lot of effort to beat up the natives and take some of their water or
b. Go to Saturn where there is about a hundred thousand trillion tonnes of pure water in the form of nice ice cubes in the planet’s rings ready for the taking. And there’s a pretty view too. And don’t get me started on Enceladus, Mimas, Dione and the other 60 or so Saturnian moons. Or the other gas giant satellites…
It’s been done before, the invaders in the original V (1983-85) came for our water, and in Caretaker (1995), the pilot for Star Trek: Voyager (yes I watched it, somebody had to) the quasi-evil Kazons were crossing interstellar space to steal the H2O from the home planet of the bland and dim-witted Ocampa.
If you have a starship, space is full of water. Only aliens and Hollywood scriptwriters don’t get that!